It could change your life, too.”Īfter approximately seven minutes of clowning every soul involved in Catwoman, Berry lays it bare. “ She just wrote a book called The Power of the Actor,” says Berry, “Y’all should rush out and get it. Even her acting coach, Ivana Chubbuck, gets a shoutout, likely to her chagrin. She thanks the cast (“In order to give a really bad performance like I did, you need a lot of bad actors around you.”), the writers (all twenty of them, thank you very much), and of course, the man who made is all possible, Pitof. He loves me so much that he convinces me to do projects even when he knows they’re sh*t!” Berry has but one request: If she ever gets the chance to do another movie, can he read the script before being possessed by the fat paycheck attached?īerry leaves no box unchecked. He loves me so much that he tells me I’m the greatest actress there ever was. “First of all, I want to thank Warner Bros,” she says, “Thank you for putting me in a piece of sh*t, God-awful movie!” The audience roars with laughter how could they not? Standup comedians go to bed every night wishing for this kind of natural humor and charisma, or at least they should.īerry brings out her manager, who sheepishly obliges, for some more comedic exaltation. Like all winning starlets before her, Berry begins to thank everyone involved in her Razzie win.
If it’s even possible to go scorched earth in a nice way, Berry might be the first person to do it on camera. “And, no, I don’t got to give this back, it’s got my name on it!” “It’s not like I ever aspired to be here, but thank you,” she laughs, clutching the statue. Berry pulls up to the podium in exaggerated hysterics - a wink at her own emotional Oscar acceptance speech just a few years prior - and even brings the damn award with her on stage. It’s a masterclass in poking fun at oneself, which is, ultimately, the easiest way to get through this thing called life. Sometimes one simply has to laugh (as to not cry) and Berry’s acceptance speech makes me think we’re on the same page here. Lesser performers would rather drop dead than acknowledge such a win, but Berry took a different approach - not only did she accept the award in person, but she also playfully annihilated everyone involved in the film with a gracious roast for the ages. The film was panned, and realized an actress’ darkest nightmare: a Worst Actress Razzie win. And they certainly weren’t ready for Bratt and Berry to play an inexplicably flirty game of basketball surrounded by cheering elementary school children! Catwoman came 20 years too soon. Viewers were not ready for Berry to lose it while sniffing an orb, only to have Conroy gently hint at her newly developed feline traits by confirming that she had taken an immense liking to catnip. On screen, Catwoman was too campy for its time. Sharon Stone! The key phrase, of course, is on paper. Berry, hot off of winning the Best Actress Oscar for Monster’s Ball and very much at the top of her game, plays the titular anti-hero Benjamin Bratt, Alex Borstein, and Frances Conroy are on the bill Sharon F*cking Stone is the icy villain. The rendition of the DC Comic has everything right on paper. This mononymous man never struck it big in Hollywood, but those who recognize the name are part of a small but elite group who lived through 2004’s most beautiful train wreck, Catwoman.
It’s not a person I’ve ever met, or will ever meet, but he is very much real to me and Halle Berry: Pitof.
I have an intrusive thought - a name, really - that pops into my brain every so often.
JENNIFER WARNER NEVER HAVE I EVER SERIES
a NYLON series spotlighting culture’s funniest, most slept-on moments.
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